The Survivor Personality Newsletter

October, 1997

by Al Siebert, Ph.D.

Dear Survivor:

One of the benefits from curiosity about survivors is that you meet wonderful people. That is one reason why I recommend that you do your own research.

I just returned from Hartford, Connecticut, where I was a guest on a Gayle King television show about "Women Survivors." Most of the program's focus was on Jackie Pflug, the woman who survived being shot in the back of the head in 1985 by hijackers of an EgyptAir Flight.

Jackie's book Miles To Go Before I Sleep is an exceptionally clear account of surviving and recovery. I've never seen a written story that matches so many aspects of being a survivor. From the moment the plane was hijacked Jackie searched for survival strategies. She never panicked, even when they were leading her to the door to be executed. She was amazed when she found herself conscious on the runway at the bottom of the stairs, but she made herself stay calm and lay without moving for five hours to avoid being shot again.

In her book Jackie describes her long slow recovery from her head injury, dealing with neurologists and other experts who wouldn't answer her questions, assertively getting President Ronald Reagan to help with her medical expenses, overcoming depression and PTSD and survivor guilt while dealing with a divorce, coping with the epileptic condition she now has, her efforts to recover from the learning disability caused by the brain injury, and living now with impaired vision. She calls her experience "a joyous journey."

The second survivor interviewed in the program is Holly Howard. At age 21 she was a healthy, intelligent, active, popular, golden blonde dance instructor anticipating a wonderful future for herself. On the afternoon of July 4th, 1981, she went out on a lake in a motorboat with a girl friend. They had a boating accident. She was badly injured and had to have her left leg amputated below the knee. Holly never thought of herself as a victim, however. She says she felt depressed shortly after the surgery, but things changed when she fell in love with her physical therapist and married him.

Holly's inspirational story is how she has persisted in finding ways to lead a full, active life without being identified as a handicapped person. She has worked with specialists to develop prostheses that lets her ride her bicycle, travel, and speak before groups without appearing to have an artificial leg. She now has two sons and told me she is president elect of a women's association in Texas.

A short version of Holly's story can be found in You're Not Alone by John Sabolich. He is a pioneer in developing life enhancing prostheses. His book contains "Stories of 38 Remarkable Amputees Who Conquered the Challenges of a Lifetime." I agree with his observation that an amputation is a defining moment in a person's life. A person with an amputation will never be the same again. He or she will either drift into a victim identity or be changed into a better individual with a strong personal identity.

Gayle King is an excellent interviewer and has a good focus for her program. As usual, I wished afterward that I would have answered several of her questions better. She was especially interested on how a person becomes a survivor. I am adding a file focused on that question to my THRIVEnet web site. Look for: How To Be A Survivor -- The Gayle King Show about "Women Survivors."

The broadcast date has not been set yet, but should run sometime in the next few weeks. The Gayle King show follows Martha Stewart on CBS stations in many regions.

I was so impressed with Jackie and Holly I will write up each of them for a "Story of the Month" at my THRIVEnet web site. Jackie will be November, Holly in December. In the months that follow, I will write about Helen Lemar, a remarkable woman I met during my recent book signing and speaking trip to Santa Cruz. Helen's amazing survivor story includes how she recovered from multiple sclerosis at age 36 without any medications or treatments.

THRIVEnet Bookstore: Jackie's book and the book with Holly's story can be purchased through the new THRIVEnet On-Line Bookstore created by the fabulous Kristin. Click on the book you want, and you will be jumped to the Amazon Bookstore site. Amazon sells books at a discount that more than covers the cost of postage and they have secure credit card transactions. BTW, if there are any books you would like to recommend for the store, please let us know.

Discount Price: If you are thinking of purchasing more copies of The Survivor Personality for gifts or for a study group, the Practical Psychology Press has a special discount price of five copies for only $60 plus postage of $5 for a total of $65. Make your check payable to Practical Psychology Press and send it to P.O. Box 535, Portland, OR 97207. No credit card orders.

Book Research: I'm researching a book about how to handle negative people and would like to know how you handle negativity in others. If you read The Survivor Personality was chapter 10 helpful to you?

My core concept is that the key to having things work well is to be at the quiet choice point between positive and negative thoughts and feelings. Do you have any views about this idea? Please let me know.

With best wishes,
--Al Siebert

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